Parents let their children play with mobile phones from a young age when their children become "addicted".

(Dan Tri) - Letting their children borrow their phones to entertain themselves when their parents are busy, many parents did not expect that this seemingly harmless decision would make their children increasingly dependent on the screen, making it difficult to stop.

"Tom, put down your phone, go out and play!"

"Wait for me to finish this match, Mom!"

Short conversations every afternoon have become familiar in Ms. Bui Thi Tuyet's family (45 years old, Quang Ninh). Every time she reminded her 8th grade son to get off the phone, she almost only received silence or the promise "a little later".

“Wait for me to finish this match” has become a familiar answer that Ms. Tuyet receives every time she reminds her child to put down the phone and go out to exercise (Illustration: Doan Thuy).

A few years ago, she was the one who proactively gave the phone to her child. Initially, it was to study online during the Covid-19 period, then it was to give my children something to entertain themselves when their mother was busy working the night shift.

"At that time, I thought it was simply for my child to study and then play a little. I didn't expect that by the time I realized it, my child could barely leave the phone," Ms. Tuyet said.

Not only her family, many parents are currently in a similar situation. Busyness makes the phone become a "babysitter", but also accidentally opens the door leading children to the habit of depending on screens.

The child is "addicted" to the phone, the parents are helpless

Recalling the time her child began to change, Ms. Tuyet said it all started in 2020 when the Covid-19 epidemic broke out.

The child has to study online, so the family is forced to prepare a phone. While their mother constantly goes to work, especially night shifts, the two brothers stay at home and almost manage themselves.

"Many days the children lay in their room, turned off all the main lights, only turned on the night light and then held the phone to watch until late at night. I was so busy that I didn't pay attention," she said.

A year later, when taking their child for an eye exam, the whole family was stunned when the doctor concluded that the boy had reached 6 degrees of nearsightedness.

"The doctor said the cause was partly due to using the phone too much in poor lighting conditions. That's when I realized I was subjective," Ms. Tuyet recounted.

After that time, the family set many rules such as only being able to play at certain hours and encouraging their children to go out and exercise. But change is not easy.

"Now when I tell my friends to go out, no one goes out anymore. When I go to a friend's house, everyone carries a phone or computer. It's very difficult to ban them," she shared.

As the yards become increasingly empty of children, phones and computers gradually become familiar play spaces for many children (Illustration: Doan Thuy).

According to Ms. Tuyet, the most difficult thing is not taking the phone out of the child's hand, but when the device has become a part of the child's life.

"Nowadays, phones are used both for studying and for communication. If we ban them completely, it's not realistic, but if we have phones, our children will play games," Ms. Tuyet confided.

Mr. Kien Phong (40 years old), whose son is in 9th grade, said his son started loving phones around 4th grade.

At first, the boy only borrowed his parents' phone to watch YouTube. Then, while regularly playing with cousins ​​of the same age, he began to be exposed to games on the phone and spent more and more time on the screen.

"At first, the family still limited playing time. However, every time it was time to return the phone, my child became uncomfortable and did not want to stop," Mr. Phong said.

According to him, his children still go to school and complete their studies at home, but almost all their free time is spent on the phone. The boy rarely participates in other activities and no longer talks and connects with his parents as much as before.

I regret spoiling my child since I was a baby

By the time control efforts begin late, many parents realize their children's phone habits have become difficult to change.

"My parents repeatedly reminded me to put down my phone to do other things, but I didn't listen. When I was young, my family indulged me and thought that letting me play for a while wouldn't have any effect," Mr. Phong said.

When your child enters puberty, management becomes more difficult. The boy now has his own phone and almost no longer accepts his parents' rules like before.

Mr. Phong shared: "When I was a child, I could still tell my children, but now that I'm older, it's very difficult. It's not realistic to completely ban phones, but if I let my children use them themselves, parents won't be able to control them."

According to many parents, the later it is left to manage phone usage, the more difficult it is to change (Illustration: Doan Thuy).

Looking back, he believes that the busyness and pampering mentality in the early years unintentionally created conditions for children to form the habit of prolonged phone use. This is also what Ms. Tuyet admitted when talking about her family's story.

"It's all because the parents pamper their children," Ms. Tuyet said frankly.

According to her, if she could go back, she would not let her child use the phone too early, nor would she let her stay in the room alone with electronic devices for many hours.

Mr. Phong also believes that the biggest mistake families make is thinking that their children will only watch for a while and then they will get bored.

"When I was young, I thought it was okay to play a little. But gradually it became a habit, and by the time I wanted to correct it, it was too late," he said.

From the experience of two families, both Ms. Tuyet and Mr. Phong believe that managing children's phone use needs to start very early. Because once the habit of relying on screens has been formed, parents' reminders or prohibitions are difficult to be effective.

Scientists have spent a lot of research on the harmful effects of children using phones too much. Accordingly, too much screen time can lead to less sleep, more sitting, less exercise and picky eating. All contribute to increased insulin resistance, inflammation and obesity, increasing the risk of heart disease later in life. Among those factors, sleeping little or sleeping late plays a key role.

Sharing on Dan Tri, BSCK II Nguyen Thi Thanh Huyen, Head of the Rehabilitation Department, Hanoi Medical University Hospital, said that she had met many patients who were just middle school students but had pain in their finger joints, especially their thumbs, due to playing on the phone too much. Some children have shown signs of tendinitis.

For these children, in just about 5-7 years, at the age of 20, the small joints in their fingers will degenerate.

Excessive exposure to smartphones not only affects children's eyesight and nervous system, but also affects their neck, back, shoulders, elbows, wrists and fingers.

It is recommended that children only play games for 60 minutes a day

The above stories show that the problem of device management not only lies in each family but also places requirements on game and digital platform providers. In that context, the management agency is proposing to tighten the gaming time for children under 16 years old.

The Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism is collecting comments on a draft amendment to Decree 147/2024 on Internet use management, including a proposal to limit children under 16 years old to playing games for a maximum of 60 minutes per day, instead of a maximum of 180 minutes as current regulations.

The proposal to reduce gaming time from 180 minutes to 60 minutes per day is receiving the attention of many parents (Illustration: Doan Thuy).

According to the draft, the 60-minute duration is calculated for the total playing time of the day, no longer calculated for each game as before. At the same time, the drafting agency proposed adding regulations to display warnings about the impact of games on periodic health and strengthen the classification of games by age to better protect children.

In particular, the draft continues to emphasize the family's responsibility in managing players under 16 years old.

Accordingly, the child's account must be registered with the information of the father, mother or guardian based on civil law regulations. Parents or guardians must be responsible for monitoring the playing time and game content that children access.

Many parents also believe that supplier limits are only part of the solution. Whether children can leave the screen or not still depends largely on how families establish rules, create alternative activities and accompany children from the early years.